Stairways between heaven and earth. Flawed human beings seen in a forgiving light. The possibility of joy and hope in spite of unimaginable loss.
For me, cinema has always been a means of giving expression to a sense of wonder.
Our human existence is inescapably finite and characterized by loss. Wonder over the fact that we are here in the first place, over the fact that anything exists at all, makes it possible to find joy, hope and life in this seemingly anonymous corner of the universe.
My sense of wonder is not, however, put easily into words. It’s a feeling that may catch me by surprise in the middle of my daily, mundane life and suddenly remind me how little I know about the source that has brought me and the world around us into existence. We are simply here – we and our goose bumps, earlobes and mood swings. And so is the world, with its raspberries, its armadillo’s and its never-ending sea of stars. Wonder then is more like a question – ‘what is this?, ‘how is this possible? – that expects no answer but that, in a way, is an answer already.
Wonder can surprise me with joy when, for example, I fall into the water in full rain gear. Or it can baffle me in the middle of the night, bent over a cot, struggling to wake just enough to be able to guide a pacifier into my toddler’s mouth before falling right back to sleep. And it can be a tiny whisper that cuts right through the heartbreak, shame and grief when I’m confronted with a lifeless loved one.
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Wonder was always there in the masterpieces that attracted me to the art of the cinema. In my graduation thesis from the University of Amsterdam I studied cinema’s role in the light of the nihilism of modernity. I orchestrated a conversation between American auteur and ‘wonderer extra-ordinaire’ Terrence Malick [THE THIN RED LINE] on the one hand, and the continental philosophers Martin Heidegger and Gilles Deleuze on the other (M.A. Film Studies, 2005, cum laude.)
After graduation I left the academic world behind and immersed myself in the world of filmmaking. I studied screenwriting and poetry, worked as an assistant director on film and television productions and began making my own cinematic exercises. In 2010 I started production company cineManna and started producing both original work and taking on assignments. My short film FONTANEL (writer-director) was shortlisted for the Debut and Golden Calf awards at the Netherlands Film Festival and went on to play at other festivals across Europe.
VIEWING, produced by Phanta Film and Goldman Film, had its world premiere at The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences in downtown Hollywood on December 14th, 2019.
Together with Phanta Film and Goldman Film, and with support from the Netherlands Film Fund, I am currently developing feature film STAIRWAY TO EARTH.